love is a many-scented thing.

we were troubled. nothing wrong, really, just an undercurrent of anxiety and worry that made your brows furrow and my eyes fill. restlessly, you drifted off to sleep, leaving me alone in the dark with both our thoughts. abandoned, i tossed and turned, resentful that peace came so easily to you.

the clock pounded on the nightstand, gleefully counting down to the ungodly hour of when we needed to be awake. fidgety, i sighed and rolled to my side. almost immediately, you turned in kind, wrapped your arms around me and snuggled close. all in your sleep. i felt better in an instant, safe and secure in your warm bear hug, with your dream-scented breaths caressing the base of my neck. i knew that whatever came our way, we would face it down, because, as a team, we are stronger than anything.

...and then you farted.

my hormones, they are a surgin'...

...and i cannot wait to have that man's baby. seriously, could someone please explain this rush of maternal-ness that seems to have enveloped my body. we're not even married yet and i'm already plotting on how i'm going to get knocked up. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME???

Day 4 on Alli

Pants shit: 0
Pounds lost: 0
Pounds gained: 3
Period about to start: 1
Cranky bitches writing this blog: 1
Money wasted: Too much. Shut up.

day one on alli

i haven't shit my pants yet, therefore i consider today a success.

um...

1. not dead
2. super busy, thanks to new job
3. nablopomo for january: giant fail
4. thanks to google reader, been able to read your guy's posts. haven't commented, but been reading.
5. computer is piece of shit; being returned to hp. forced to post from work. boo.

blurg

sick and dying. first day at work. took nyquil. going to bed. no post for you.

change is good

well, it looks like i'm not the only one changing... starbucks is now offering tea lattes and tea infusions. oh, glory day.

TMI

Me [to male friend while watching a comedian talk about his 3-year-old's fascination with his own penis]: Is it true? Do guys really name their wieners?

Him: Yeah

Me: What did you name yours?

Him: Dilbo Bag 'n' Balls, the Knobbit.

Me: ...gross.

Him: Want to meet him?

Me: I hate you.

My cup runneth over (so doth my toilet)

Dear Hubby-to-Be,
Since you don't seem to know my various noises of urgency, let me give you an easy-to-remember list, so next time you'll know whether whatever I'm whining about can wait a damn minute or if it requires immediate attention.

1. "AUUUGGHHHHH": There's a scorpion somewhere in the vicinity and you need to come destroy it with your hands of manliness.
   Urgency Level (out of 10): 6 (It's not like they can come and stab me to death, but they're pretty nasty and if you want me to stop shrieking, you better kill it ASAP)
   
   
2. "Ewwwww": The cat has done something disgusting on the floor
   Urgency Level: 4 (I can just throw some newspapers over it until you can come clean it up)
   
   
3. "UH UH UH UH UH UH UH": The toilet tank has created a mini ocean on the floor and the cat is 2 seconds away from needing a snorkel.
   Urgency Level: 10 (GET YOUR ASS IN HERE NOW!!!)
   

Hope this helps.
XOXOXO,
Rebecca

*************************
Dear Self,
When the toilet tank is overflowing, DO NOT lift the lid off, because otherwise you'll have your own personal version of Old Faithful and you'll cause water damage to pretty much everything in the bathroom. Just make noises of urgency and let Rob do it so he can be blamed.
Love,
Me

*************************
Dear Readers,
Sometimes, bad things happen. Like your toilet explodes. And sometimes, you need something to help you cope. Which is why I came up with this recipe to soothe frazzled nerves and make you not give a shit about the fact that your cat is doing the breaststroke in the bathroom, thanks to the 50 gallons of water on the floor.

You'll need:
-Pineapple dessert wine
-Raspberry seltzer
-A lime wedge
-Ice

1. Fill a wine glass with ice
2. Fill it 3/4 full of pineapple wine
3. Top it off with raspberry seltzer
4. Squeeze the juice from the lime wedge into the potion; stir
5. Ignore the ark you just saw float through your living room

Enjoy!
Rebecca

Change: Day 1

January's posts are supposed to be all about change, which is perfect, because that's exactly the direction my life seems to be leaning towards right now.

Yesterday was my last day at Virgo Publishing, and it was bittersweet. As much as I hated the company, how things were run and the unfairness of it all, I owe a lot to that company. My boss, Heather, was one of the best bosses I have ever had, and she really helped me grow and mature in not only my skills set, but as a woman in the business world. She has an amazing, straightforward, no bullshit way of conducting herself, and while some people mistake that for bitchiness, I disagree; she conducts herself the way men who are considered business leaders conduct themselves. Virgo is where I met my the love of my life and the most amazing man, Robert. I also met one of the most lovely people ever and I now have the honor of having her as one of my best friends, Somlynn. And I never would have gotten my new job had I not had to do all types of marketing shiznit for Virgo.

Regardless, I am SO excited to start my new job. It takes everything I'm good at, my talents and my passion, balls them all together and hands it to me.

As far as other change goes, my goal is to lose AT LEAST 20 lbs. by March 21, out wedding date. So, just for my sake, I'm posting my daily weight, food and exercise at the end of each post. Feel free to ignore it; it's just to help keep me on track.

2009 is going to be amazing.

*************************
Weight: 184.6
Breakfast: Fruit and tea smoothie, Grape Nuts and milk
Snacks: Apple, small handful of peanuts, carrots and hummus
Dinner: SMALL square of lasagna, piece of bread, salad
Water: An assload
Before Bed: Multivitamin, iron supplement, B-complex
Exercise: 30 minute walk