Things we talked about at work today:
The Holocaust
M. being Jewish
Putting M. in an oven
A pile of men, fucking
Videotaping said pile of men for a viral video
Child abuse
Perverts
Sesame Street
Mad Dog
Drinking in the morning (aka "M.'s Happy Sunshine Morning Juice")
Vibrators
Muslim jokes
Rape by Basha's
Hot damn, I love my job!
At least I don't have to worry about getting preggers
What's up, internets? Haven't seen you in a while. As much I would like to say I've been busy having lots and lots of married sex and then mooning about at work looking forward to married sex, etc., etc., etc.... That's just not happening.
Instead, we've been running around like crazies, packing a total of 63 years (40 and 23 years, respectively) worth of accumulated shit that clutters our teeny apartments and lives. We moved a bit last weekend, but this weekend is the big move. We've hired some movers who get the lucky job of hauling our shit up and down many, many flights of stairs (SOOOOOO worth the money), so we're in GO MODE to get as much of our garbage into as many boxes as we can before Saturday. We've loaded up the car 5 times and it seems like we haven't even made a dent.
We're contemplating burning the apartment down, taking the insurance moolah and just buying all new stuff. It saves us the trouble of moving and who doesn't love shopping?!?! It's a foolproof plan.
Also, you'll have to indulge me... I think I'm going to have to post more wedding photos once I get the professional ones back. So... yeah. Just deal with it for now, ok? And then we'll be done with that shit.
Instead, we've been running around like crazies, packing a total of 63 years (40 and 23 years, respectively) worth of accumulated shit that clutters our teeny apartments and lives. We moved a bit last weekend, but this weekend is the big move. We've hired some movers who get the lucky job of hauling our shit up and down many, many flights of stairs (SOOOOOO worth the money), so we're in GO MODE to get as much of our garbage into as many boxes as we can before Saturday. We've loaded up the car 5 times and it seems like we haven't even made a dent.
We're contemplating burning the apartment down, taking the insurance moolah and just buying all new stuff. It saves us the trouble of moving and who doesn't love shopping?!?! It's a foolproof plan.
Also, you'll have to indulge me... I think I'm going to have to post more wedding photos once I get the professional ones back. So... yeah. Just deal with it for now, ok? And then we'll be done with that shit.
Today's thought:
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
You may have been the first, but I'll always be the last.
Today's lesson:
If you go to the store and accidentally buy scented tampons, don't put them in the same part of your purse as your mints. Flowery, oh-so-fresh mints fucking suck.
Fuck you, Mr. Miyagi
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Ok, before I go into story mode, let me throw down some facts for y'all:
Last night, I had my usual class. Now, I wasn't really enjoying classes before because, since I was a beginner, I was stuck with a bunch of 4-year-olds. Then a couple other people (who had hit puberty) joined, and it got better. I'm not the best by any means (I think I would have to be a 9-year-old Russian gymnast named Nadia Blogoyavich to achieve the level of flexibility this class requires), but it's a good work-out and I enjoy the fact that I can once again jump and jog in place without fearing that my legs are going to re-break.
ANYWAYS... we were doing side kicks, which I'm still not terrific at (BUT I WAS TRYING), and the Ancient Asian decided to interrupt the entire class and go off on me in front of oh, about 20 people.
*please note, the below conversation is written phonetically and is not intended to offend anyone of Asian descent*
So now I'm trying to decide how, exactly, I can tell him NOT TO FUCKING DO THAT EVER AGAIN and overcome the cultural and language barriers he seems to have. I know he wasn't being intentionally cruel and was merely trying to encourage me, but that was a giant fail. I want to just get my money back and quit, but A) I don't want to be a flake because I like getting out of the house to work out and B) I don't think he'd give me my money back, but what do I do? At this point, I'm dreading going back there because I don't really enjoy returning to the scene of the humiliation.
Ideas?
- I broke both my legs within a month or so of each other 2 years ago.
- Because of said broken legs, I couldn't really walk/do anything active for 6 months.
- Aforementioned inactivity led to some unsightly weight gain (re: I went from 160 to 230).
- Since then, I've gotten back down to 183, but I still have a limited range of motion and my balance is total crap.
- In an effort to whittle myself back down to my fighting weight and regain some semblance of gracefulness, I joined Tae Kwon Do.
- Laugh it up, assholes.
- My uniform is 2 sizes too big, making me look like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man from Ghostbusters.
- My instructor is a 1,000-year-old, 4 ft. Korean man who can't really speak (or understand) English all that well.
Last night, I had my usual class. Now, I wasn't really enjoying classes before because, since I was a beginner, I was stuck with a bunch of 4-year-olds. Then a couple other people (who had hit puberty) joined, and it got better. I'm not the best by any means (I think I would have to be a 9-year-old Russian gymnast named Nadia Blogoyavich to achieve the level of flexibility this class requires), but it's a good work-out and I enjoy the fact that I can once again jump and jog in place without fearing that my legs are going to re-break.
ANYWAYS... we were doing side kicks, which I'm still not terrific at (BUT I WAS TRYING), and the Ancient Asian decided to interrupt the entire class and go off on me in front of oh, about 20 people.
*please note, the below conversation is written phonetically and is not intended to offend anyone of Asian descent*
"LEBECCA! You keep coming here, I teach you niiiiiccccce and srow. You rearn reeeaaaarrrrry good. And then, one day, you no rook rike that anymow. You no bounce and jiggle. I give you niiiiiccccce shape [at this point, he drew the shape of an hourglass in the air with his hands]. One day, if you lucky, you look like Arex over here [he then pointed to a 17-year-old name ARIELLE, NOT 'Alex', who is 9 feet tall and 90 pounds, with absolutely no ass or tits to speak of; She looks like a 'light days' slim tampon]. She rooks GOOOOOOOOOD. One day YOU rook rike dat, no rook rike you do now. You big girl! But you no be big girl soon, if you no quit and keep coming to crass... [he then continued on this tangent for a good 5 minutes]"You guys, do you even KNOW how hard it is to stand there, shamefaced and red, doing sidekicks and TRYING NOT TO CRY?!?! I have never been more humiliated or embarrassed in my life. All I could do was stand there and say "Yes, sir." I had absolutely no snappy comebacks to speak of. I went into middle school "Self Protect" mode or something... just look straight ahead and don't say anything until it's all over.
So now I'm trying to decide how, exactly, I can tell him NOT TO FUCKING DO THAT EVER AGAIN and overcome the cultural and language barriers he seems to have. I know he wasn't being intentionally cruel and was merely trying to encourage me, but that was a giant fail. I want to just get my money back and quit, but A) I don't want to be a flake because I like getting out of the house to work out and B) I don't think he'd give me my money back, but what do I do? At this point, I'm dreading going back there because I don't really enjoy returning to the scene of the humiliation.
Ideas?
SWF seeking SWF for platonic bonding
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
things are currently kind of a mess and i could really use a best friend right now. a best friend who will bring wine, pints of ice cream, nail polish and sappy movies we used to watch in high school.
warm wishes
Monday, March 2, 2009
happy birthday to one of my dearest, sweetest friends. somlynn, i heart your crunchy, granola-y, patchouli-covered heart and your little baby's, too. have a wonderful day; i'm looking forward to our girl's weekend. thank you for being such a good friend to me.
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