Rage against the world

Right now I'm just absolutely furious at everything, most of it which can't be divulged here because I actually enjoy not being cast out of society. But I think I can make a rather abstract list to sum it up:

1. Women are bitches. Like stone-cold, backstabbing bitches. In a world where we all sing about womanhood and sisters and carrying each other through life, I have never witnessed more evil than I have through girl-on-girl crimes.

2. I hate that I will never be a normal girl. I feel like a fucking outcast. I don't have any close friends here (re: people like me), so I'm the geek in a sea of Barbies.

3. I'm still struggling to lose that last 30 pounds. I want to quit so fucking bad. I know I can't, but Jesus Almighty, I hate dieting. I hate working out even more. I would rather be raped by a pack of hyenas than work out.

4. Why is it that every single man I've dated has either a crazy ex or a crazy current? Take my ex, for example? His current gf called me, asking me for help because he, well, sucks. I was honest with her and tried to help out. Now I come to find out she's been trashing the shit out of me. WTF. Again, please see number 1.

Who wants to come to Phoenix, kick my ass into shape and help me beat up some cunts?

Riddle me this...

What happens when your husband has to throw up but can't get the toilet lid open in time? Oh, and don't forget that he had a huge Mexican lunch and some beer.

...Yeah. Happy weekend to me.

no kitties were harmed in the making of this video... much.

One of my latest collaborations. Yes, I'm bragging, but it makes me giggle every time.

Nope, definitely not dead mice

You all need to go here and read Lisa's latest entry. I literally choked on the water I was drinking. Apparently you can't burst into laughter and swallow at the same time. She's in a bad mood, though. so leave her some happy comments.

I'm a motherlover

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they say it's your birthday...

well, it's my birthday, too!
my very awesome birthday presents so far:

• dog pissed on the floor
• cat woke me up at 5:30, just to say hi
• hubby woke me up at 5:57 to say happy birthday
• a new kitten
• got to go to the star trek premiere at midnight for ZooLoo.TV
  
• a canon powershot
• 3 nattering e-mails from the ex-wife, bitching about something
  
• dog shit on the floor
• cat threw up
• kitten shit on carpet

and yet, i wouldn't change any of it for the world. so far, being 24 rocks.

First the worst, second the best...

We were unpacking a bunch of Hubby's stuff last night and I came across several home videos. So, being the nosy bitch that I am, I watched them.

Does anyone have a razor blade I can use?

As I watched, I was struck with this horrible, stomach-churning feeling that hasn't been realized until now: I will NEVER be the first for anything for him. Not his first marriage, not having his first child, not his first home with someone... I will always be second. The worst part? His "first" didn't deserve any of it. She had it, she didn't want it, they got divorced.

I suppose this could have helped BEFORE I decided to marry him, but I honestly never thought of it that way before. I'm scared of being plagued with thoughts now of "Is he liking this? Is he bored? He's been there, done that already." And I'm sure I'm being paranoid; he wouldn't have married me if I didn't make him happy, but sometimes I wish we could have all that together. That his first life didn't exist. That we were starting out at the same development point instead of him being light years ahead of me.

I know there's nothing to really help how I feel; at some level, I knew what I was getting into when I married him, but I just had to get this out. It's a feeling I've never felt before and I'm unsure of how to process it.