Today's lesson:

(it's a twofer!)
1. I would rather gain 10 pounds from birth control pills than 40 pounds from being pregnant.
2. Flu + PMS symptoms = unnecessary pregnancy scare.

Our family shouldn't get together

Today we had to teach my grandpa and dad what "tea bagging" meant... Happy Father's Day.

Today's WTF moment

Here's a screenshot of what was on the right hand side of my MySpace account in the "Bumper Stickers" section (I don't know what that is, either). Way to be awesome, MySpace.

Why is it...

...that I meet all these super fucking cool people in the blog world and NOT ONE OF THEM lives in Phoenix? Or Arizona?

Cool people of the interwebz, we need to hang out!

Bee bees

Why does it seem like everyone is reproducing right now, especially including people who SHOULD NOT HAVE THEM UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES?

It's like I'm in high school all over again and everyone except me has the latest Louis Vuitton purse and I really want one, too, except by "Louis Vuitton purse" I mean "shitting, drooling wad of flesh" and by "I really want one, too," I mean "fetch me the nearest coat hanger."

Dear husband,

You are the best. Thank you for saying "whatever makes you happy" when I asked what you wanted to do this weekend. And thank you for the surprise trip to Sedona. I really need a break and it's great that you're giving me that chance. I love you.

I owe you a BJ or something,
Your wife

Dear job recruiter,

Thank you SO MUCH for getting back to me after I initially contacted you EIGHT MONTHS AGO! Yes, as a matter of fact, I AM gainfully employed once again. NO THANKS TO YOU.

Oh, what's that? You have some job positions I might be interested in? But it's contract work? And it pays $10 an hour? For only six months?

Yeah, I think I'm going to have to pass on that one and stick with my full-time job. The job that I found ALL BY MYSELF.

Fuck off and no, I don't know anyone else who might be interested,
Rebecca

pam hogg doesn't get teh interwebz, can suck it

please go to wendy b's blog immediately and read this post. then, make yourself a promise that you will never, ever support "designer" pam hogg and her disgusting catsuits of sweaty crotch-ness. if she can't appreciate the support and publicity of bloggers, she doesn't deserve our money or time.

my first amendment spidey senses are outraged.

If you can't say something nice, shut the fuck up

Things haven't been going exactly swimmingly as of late. I don't want to use this blog solely as my bitching soundboard, hence the lack of posts. Things are looking up, though, which means I can crawl out of my hole of despair and into the sunlight once again.

Look for normal posts to resume shortly. Because I KNOW you were pining away for me.